Nourishing Your Child’s Spark

What lights up your child? Is there a special skill, talent or interest that makes your teen want to jump out of bed in the morning? According to Dr. Peter Benson, former President and CEO of the Search Institute, when kids have an authentic passion, or “spark,” they’re more likely to have higher grades in school, feel optimistic and be physically healthy.

Regardless of a child’s race, income level or family situation, a spark has the power to change the course of a kid’s life for the better. Kids who are aware of and using their interests, talents and abilities have the power to use them to contribute to a better world.

To learn what sparks get kids excited, the Search Institute interviewed more than 3,500 teens and 2,000 parents of teens. The category most identified as a spark by both boys and girls was the creative arts. Music, art, dance and writing were mentioned twice as often as sports. More than 200 different sparks, including athletics, learning, reading and helping others were identified as inspirations that enrich teens’ lives.

Teens need strong and positive relationships with parents and other caring adults to help

support and encourage them with their sparks. Yet, as kids get older, the percentage of parents who know and actively nourish their child’s spark declines.

So, what can you do to be your child’s spark champion? The Search Institute recommends that parents start talking “with” and not “to” their kids. Ask open-ended questions. Listen and give your child a safe place to share his or her dreams and passions. When you see your child doing something well, say something positive about it. No matter what the talent or skill, there are places for your child to go with it.

The Search Institute asked hundreds of young people how parents and adults could support them with their sparks. Their answers included: listen to me, help me figure out what to do next, talk with me and give me new ideas, tell me to keep going and not quit. Teens want parents and caring adults to engage with them in authentic conversations that help them discover their own abilities and possibilities. By having meaningful conversations with your child, you’ll reveal your own struggles and dreams so your child can learn from them, too.

For more information on the concept of sparks, or how to be a better spark champion for your teen, visit www.search-institute.org.